What Better than Humor? | Walk. Don't Run

The Exotic World of Quantum Mechanics

Max postulated, in a revolutionary way,

discrete quanta is how energy is absorbed and radiated.

Aha! said Albert as he shined a light on some strange materials

and on the ejecting electrons was fixated.

The fools who thought that light came to us as beams,

were confronted by photons, displaying a sense of urgency.

Neils filled them with a discrete quantum of energy,

that seemed totally dependent on their oscillating frequency.

Of a particle’s energy and time, and position and momentum,

Werner was uncertain about measuring the exact value

Found it safer to explain their whereabouts probabilistically,

rather than pinpoint a location cent per centum.

It did not stop at this level of ambiguity,

for the quantum state witnessed a time evolution.

To predict the end state of a wave function, from where it started

Erwin needed to hypothesize his deterministic equation

Recent quantum theory has helped unify diverse forces,

while explaining the sub-nuclear quark’s and gluon’s activity.

Only Issac’s gravity still eludes the unification process,

hopefully stringing along the general theory of relativity

Ode to Ogden

Must try my luck with humor

my dear

only way to exorcise the tumor

of fear

better to read some Ogden Nash

rather than your wrists, to slash

Choice of a Role Model

A battle constantly rages in my head.

to tilt at windmills like Quixote, the Don,

or to let life pass by, not look too far ahead.

to continue fighting wars that can’t be won,

or to, not be a hero, and die peacefully in bed.

It’s a debate that I regularly indulge in.

To be an example, with my deeds of valor,

or to squander my life in pursuit of earthly sin.

To fight in the trenches of filth and squalor,

or to end it in style with a tonic and gin.

Such be the lack of visions I carry,

Please avoid all mentions of trauma and pain.

And rather than heroics I marry,

by the hand of comfort I’d rather be slain.

I Am Analyzed

The best psychologists in town have mapped my mind,

none revealing answers to what makes me what I am.

Opting to bury the truth, or not appear unkind

or because, for their opinions, I don’t give a damn

The administration of hypnotic drugs seem badly timed,

affecting my clarity of thought in the subsequent exam.

The inserted gamma knife probe, exits from behind,

horrors! no signs of synapses firing are revealed in the scan.

Efforts to appear impotent, incompetent, deaf, dumb and blind,

have been diagnosed to be an elaborate sham.

Messages of hope, seen as convoluted ruses to have me maligned,

are forwarded automatically to the mental cavity titled spam.

Through music, not caring and logic, I now unwind

Watching bits of dark matter create an interstellar traffic jam

Damn French Mathematicians

Fourier’s transformations

Lagrangian equations

Fermat, a theorem, he creates

Pascal’s view initiates

an algorithm by Boole

a measure by Joule

in this mess created by Bernoulli

I feel mathematically silly

Who Have I Not Insulted Stereotypically?

The politicians, the cops, the administrators are have-been's
Since they seem to have inherited, non-performing parts of the human genes

The lawyers, accountants and doctors are epitomes of cowardice

If really that good, why takes insurance against malpractice

The bankers and other slick sales guys, you just cannot trust

Look at how wall-street survived, and everyone else went bust

Better to ignore the engineers, computer geeks and the mathematicians,

Look at any social do, the invitees list has these as obvious omissions

I have not forgotten the scientists, the astronauts and physics professors

They speak in a tongue as if perpetually tortured by Spanish inquisitors

Oh the artists, sculptors, authors and others of their kind

Debauched? perhaps, insane? likely, reputations? maligned

Why leave out the actors, musicians and editors of newspaper pages

In general their IQ's are less than half their ages

That just leaves consultants of the management type

Smart and humble, probably every penny worth the hype

Written in Honor of Napoleon the One Eyed Cat

Napoleon, so named, by his all things French loving, mother

At the age of one, lost half his face in an alley fracas with another

He met god, who bestowed three supernatural powers on him

Any disguise, changing shapes at will and making others do his whim

With supremacy so conferred on him,

Napoleon became the Lord of all he surveyed

All, from the high bred to the alley cats, in front of him prayed

An Unconcerned I

The laid back Guru tries to sell me,

An elixir that will dull my mind,

I don’t mind

Except,

It has to be inserted from behind

The angry Author brandishes his libretto,

Convincing me of its merit for a Nobel prize

I don’t care

Except,

It’s a tome that made the nausea in me rise

The corrupt politician delivers his speech,

Promises to uplift and embolden my will

I don’t hear

Except,

It’s pushed down my craw drowned in foul swill

The smirking shrink decides to probe,

Deep into the recesses of my diseased brain

I don’t hurt

Except,

When the lobotomized halves are sluiced down the drain

I have been lied to, carved up, looked down upon and torn asunder

I don’t bother

I don’t cry

I don’t worry

Except…

What Better than Humour....